I’m reminded more and more every day that life is short. None of us are promised tomorrow. I challenge you to write a letter to a parent or both parents, a friend, or a loved one. Tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them what they’ve done to change your life. You never know the impact your words or feelings can have until you share them.
My prayers are with each and every one of you that have lost a parent, both parents, or a child. I can’t imagine your heartbreak, and I pray for peace for you. Here’s the letter to my parents.
Before you are gone, I want you to know that I never knew how good I had it growing up with you. Every single day that goes by now as an adult, I realize it more and more. My birthday parties in the backyard were epic. Red rover, beach ball volleyball, DJs, and more will live in my memories forever. We played countless hours and nights in our wonderful backyard on our tennis backboard, on the basketball slab, and on that beloved go cart. Our handprints and initials still live on in the poured concrete slab we played on. Mom was often whipping up her famous biscuits and cornbread. In our home there was always an open invitation for friends and family. Thank you for building a home, not just an address.
Before you are gone, I want you to know I’m grateful for growing up in a small town. I often complained about not having anything to do, but everywhere we went we knew someone. I’ll always remember going downtown to meet my friends for a milkshake and hotdog at Lee-King Pharmacy and shopping at the Alamo. I remember standing at the counter picking up Sprayberry’s Barbeque, a family favorite. Field parties, fishing, and enjoying nature were some of the extras I got while living there. While it is no longer a small town, I will cherish the days it was. Thank you for still living in the same house where I grew up. It may be renovated and look different now, but the love has grown exponentially as you are now sharing it with your grandkids.
Before you are gone, I want you to know I was and am still proud to say my mom was my elementary school teacher (two years in a row) and my dad was my high school principal. Unusual yes and I usually get a “Really? Wow!” from other people when I tell them, but it only grew my admiration and respect for you both. You were both public servants, and it is evident by the many, many past students that still see you and come up to hug you. Thank you for being excellent examples of working parents, never an easy role, and one that required so much sacrifice for our family. I owe so much of my success in school and in life to the example you set for me. Mom, I owe so much of my love for math to you. I’ll never forget winning the right to wear the nerdy visor of a Math Whiz Kid for my speed in multiplication tables in your classroom, but I was so very proud of it. I also know you chose time with your family over many career advancements. Daddy, you will forever be a legend in Newnan for your love and service to Newnan High School. From cutting the grass sometimes yourself to spending many 18 hour days there, there will never be another principal that loved that school and the students like you did and still do. You were all in. You were the captain of our ship, and we will forever stop to smell the roses in your honor. You are a legend there.
Before you are gone, I want to thank you for the endless hours of sports that you let me play. Thank you for always being there to watch me, support me, and tell me you were proud of me whether I played well or not. The sports shaped me. The competition and teamwork changed me. Your support stayed with me. Sports were a part of me, and even though I can’t participate and exercise like I want to now, sports are always in my dreams and some of my fondest memories.
Before you are gone, I want to thank you for the lectures, the rules, and for not letting me do everything I wanted to do. Thank you for saying no. Thank you for caring. Thank you teaching me morals and right from wrong. Thank you for scaring me about the dangers of drugs. Thank you for being stricter than most parents. Thank you for loving me enough to not always give me what I wanted but what I needed. Thank you for being my parent first and not my friend.
Before you are gone, I want you to know I’m sorry I’ve been chronically ill for so long, and I’m so sorry for the pain and worry it has caused you. I know it has been a huge cross for you both to bear that you still carry daily. I can’t imagine your worry sitting through the countless hours and hours of surgery I had. I can’t imagine going to doctor after doctor and surgeon after surgeon with some real answers but little permanent solutions. I can’t imagine your fears rushing me to the ER over and over again, but you did. You always showed up. You never gave up, and you are still here for me every second of every day to listen to my pain and concerns and worries.
Before you are gone, I want you to know I’m grateful for my chronic illness. I don’t think I’d ever be as close to you as I am today without it or have the life perspective I do at my age. It wasn’t always easy for daddy to be in the surgeon’s office to discuss my ovaries and other female organs, but he did it. We did it together. You are two of my very best friends. Whenever anything happens, you are the first people I think to call, sometimes even before my husband. It still means so much to me that you are proud of me. I want to tell you everything. As my nephew Colin once said, “I want to tell you all the words.” Our relationship is priceless to me.
Before you are gone, I want to you to know that your unrelenting, amazing and unconditional love for me now only seems like something out of a movie. The more people I meet, the more I realize that not everyone has it with their parents. The older I get I realize how very rare it is. I hope you know how much I appreciate it.
Before you are gone, I want you to know your sacrifices growing up didn’t go unnoticed. You put Shelley and me in nicer cars than you drove just to keep us safe. I rarely ever saw you shop for yourselves. Money was never a reason for you to say no, but that’s not because we always had enough. Recently, with some temporary money troubles of my own related to extensive medical bills, I had to ask for some temporary help. I know you will never turn us down; I just hate to ask. I told my husband that I had no doubt that you’d gladly help us before paying your own mortgage. That’s the kind of sacrifices you make for your family. You’d walk through fire. You’ve proven it. You taught me money doesn’t bring happiness. Material things don’t bring happiness. Love brings happiness. Time together brings joy. Family is irreplaceable. Thank you for these lessons.
Before you are gone, I hope you know you instilled a great heart in me. Compassion for all people of all walks of life. I have a heart to help people, a heart to love my family, friends, and even strangers and a heart to never give up on anything, especially myself. I watched you both “adopt” several adults that needed you and had little to no family. You’ve expected nothing in return and took care of them as if they were family. You still do. I’m watching. I’m seeing your selfless love and care. It is admirable.
Before you are gone, I hope you know that I’m a fighter. You’ve helped me become that even when I didn’t think I could go anymore. You brought me out of the depths of hell with countless medications, surgeries, and chronic illnesses that literally almost killed me. I look back on the last fifteen to twenty years and know without you I would’ve fallen and not gotten back up. From operating room to operating room, ER to ER, Mayo Clinic to my new doctor in Texas, you were there. You are here. No matter what you will always be with me in sickness and health.
Before you are gone, one of the most important gifts you taught me was about God’s love for me. Thank you for raising me in a church that didn’t force religion on me, but taught me about God’s love, his son Jesus, and what it means to follow Jesus. No matter what life has presented to me over the years, I always fall back on my faith. Without it I don’t know where I’d be and you set that example for me. When things don’t make sense, turn to your faith. When times are good, turn to faith. When times are bad, lean into faith even harder. You did and for that I’m grateful.
Before you are gone, I want you to know that I only hope I can be half the example of love, sacrifice and compassion for my children as you were for me and still are today. Thank you will never be enough. I love you will never be enough. I love you with all of my heart. I wanted to make sure you knew this before you are gone.
