Real Life is………

Real life is when my tears turn into smiles. Real life is long, heartfelt hugs that I didn’t know how much I needed.

Real life is bribing my child to take just one nice picture to convince others my family is “normal”.  Real life is doing endless loads of laundry and never ending dishes while trying not to kill myself tripping over toys. Real life is my daughter misbehaving ALL DAY LONG then erasing it all with one squeeze of her hand, a sweet kiss on the cheek, and a prayer together at bedtime. Real life is remembering the day I was told that I may never get pregnant and being thankful every day that God had other plans.

Real life is experiencing what seems like a never ending argument with my beloved spouse, then feeling the magic again as he squeezes my hand walking through the oh so romantic aisles at the grocery store. Real life is trading the sweatpants for a dress every once in a while and feeling beautiful like I’ve still got “it”.

Real life is choosing love in spite of imperfections. Real life is facing anything life throws at me with courage sometimes in conjunction with fear.  Real life is not having it all figured out and accepting that it’s okay that I don’t. Real life is finding patience I don’t have.

Real life is complimenting a stranger just to see them smile. Real life is being strong for someone else even when I feel weak. Real life is friendships where the lines blur from friends to family. Real life is doing for others even if they don’t do for me.

Real life is going barefoot in the grass and feeling nature. Real life is rolling my windows down, turning the music up, feeling the wind in my hair, and dancing in the car like a teenager again. Real life is a song that can take me back in time twenty years. Real life is my daughter’s laugh that makes my heart soar. Real life is moments that steal my breath with their beauty. Real life is getting out of my comfort zone often enough to truly feel alive.

Real life is trying to accept the every day uncertainty of my chronic illness and my life. Real life is feeling worse every single time I eat and feeling better when I don’t eat. Real life is having more food allergies and intolerances than I can count and dreaming of a day that I may be able to eat more foods and just feel “okay” when I eat.

Real life is constant pain when I walk up stairs, when I hold my husband’s hand, when I cook, when I move, and when I just exist. Real life is my illnesses being invisible, which is both a blessing and a curse. Real life is people telling me I look “great” while feeling like I’m dying on the inside. Real life is not always feeling strong and often feeling like I can’t do it anymore, but being proud of myself because I always keep going.

Real life is living in fear of what my body may do next but choosing to move forward any way. Real life is sleeping through many of my really bad days hoping for a stronger tomorrow. Real life is knowing there may not be an end in sight with my physical struggles but believing happiness can still lie ahead.

Real life is watching runners on the sidewalk and remembering the day I was able to run.  Real life is missing the days I was an athlete, but being thankful I can at least walk. Real life is dreaming of a day I may be able to run, play tennis, or just walk again without pain, but accepting that I may not.

Real life is getting out of the house even when my body needs to stay in the bed. Real life is spending time with friends when I feel like I can barely drive to meet them. Real life is grabbing every second of joy from any time spent with others.

Real life is illness, birth, death, joy, sadness, beauty, happiness, pain, and hope. Real life is pain so deep it can’t be reached. Real life is digging out of the pain, even when I can’t see a way. Real life is appreciating brief, wonderful moments even in my darkest hours.

Real life is holding onto the good in my day more than the bad. Real life is laying my head on my pillow at night knowing tomorrow can be a fresh start. Real life is getting up when I fall; no matter how many times I’ve fallen. Real life is forgiving myself over and over again and remembering I am human.

Real life is trusting in my Creator above my circumstances. Real life is living out my dreams when fear tells me to stop. Real life is being proud of my true colors and letting them shine, always. Real life is accepting my mistakes because I know they’ve made me better and stronger. Real life is realizing my scars can’t be erased and have made me more beautiful. Real life is learning from my past but not living in it.

Real life isn’t trying to keep up with my friends or family or wishing I had what they do. Real life is not forgetting the miracles I’ve already been given.  Real life isn’t continuously mourning what could have been and asking “Why me?” Real life is not relying on material things to bring permanent happiness. Real life is knowing someone out there is probably dreaming of the life I have. Real life is embracing the good, the bad and the ugly in my life. Real life is practicing gratitude daily; good can be found in each day.

Real life is loving and accepting myself right where I am. Real life is giving up the impossible quest for perfection in my health, marriage, work, motherhood and life; flaws are beautiful. Real life is creating happiness, not just seeking it. Real life is realizing pain and joy can coexist.  Real life is letting hope outweigh fear. Real life is knowing that a day lies ahead where there will be no more pain and suffering.

Real life is complicated, beautiful, hard and amazing simultaneously. Real life can be whatever you make it, so go make it fantastic. We’ve only been given one.