After a night of almost no sleep with my sciatica raging and my back injury roaring, I got up ready to face another work day. I got busy making breakfast for my daughter. She began complaining about her stomach hurting, but I hoped it was something minor that would pass. Probably just gas, I thought. She’s been complaining about almost everything lately. Three is an amazing and tough age, am I right? The next thing I know she’s throwing up, and it’s going everywhere. Mom guilt starts for even thinking that she was just complaining over something minor.
Moms and dads, we’ve all been there. The mixed emotions ensue as soon as the throw up is unleashed. First, ew, gross! Then, sadness, stress and anxiety start that she’s sick and then possibly panic that you can’t go to work and she can’t go to school or daycare. I begin to comfort her and clean her up. Then, I start cleaning the floor, chair, and table. As I worry about how to juggle my schedule and basically cancel everything, comforting her comes back to the forefront of my mind. I see the sadness and fear in her eyes of being sick. It is hard to remember being that young and being sick; they just don’t understand what’s going on.
I wipe her up, undress her and put her in the bathtub. Not only do we wash off the germs but also it comforts the body to be in a warm bath. My mom put me in a warm bath often when I was sick with any kind of illness as a child. Even as an adult with severe chronic illness, my mom has still put me warm baths many times and would often sit there right beside me. There is just something about a warm bath that always helps no matter what is going on and of course, having your mom right there by your side always helps.
I typically try to get the dishwasher loaded in the morning before I rush off to take her to day care. Not today. The dishes, my meetings, my emails, and my everything else can wait. My job is just that, a job. It’s not my life, even though it sure feels like it sometimes. All of those important things that just had to get done will still be waiting for me tomorrow. The world won’t end because I missed a conference call.
So, what is the gift associated with a sick child throwing up you may ask? Even in the midst of the dirty clothes, towels and sheets from the sickness, I treasure any extra time I get with her. She’s growing up right before my very eyes, and she won’t be this age for much longer. My hyperfocus on her while tossing everything else aside feels good and needed. She’s now my schedule. Take that, Outlook calendar! Gratitude can be found in all circumstances, if we are willing to look for it.
“Gratitude can be found in all circumstances, if we are willing to look for it.”
While I’m sitting right beside her and she’s actually still (a rarity), I begin to closely examine the gorgeous natural curls in her hair and her magnificent blue eyes. I truly revel in her beauty. How did I create this incredible creature? She’s my whole world and then some. I take a few photos of her to capture this moment even in the midst of illness and even though I’m getting screams of “no pictures mommy!”
She takes her second bath after continuing to be sick. Her personality is starting to shine through the sickness. That’s when a mom and dad can start to feel a little relief and breathe for the first time since the throwing up started. She or he is still in there. We can now see it. She’s smiling, talking and playing now. I feel my heart slowly starting to return to normal.
Next time your kids are sick aside from the mess and germs, try not to worry about all that you are missing and all that you are NOT doing. Your most important “job” and your own work of art is right in front of you. Jobs come and go. These wonderful kids don’t. These are fleeting moments, even if they are difficult ones. Don’t miss them. Working too much and missing out on life is one of the biggest regrets I’ve heard when people reach the end of their life. You’ll never regret spending more time with your immediate family.
As I try to finally get my daughter to sleep after three baths and multiple outfit changes with worry she may throw up again, I tell her it is okay to rest now. She fights to hold her eyes open. “It’s okay to rest,” I say again. Wow, as I hear myself speak, I realize that I too needed to hear that just as much as she did. Sometimes a reminder like this is the ONLY thing that forces us to stop and reevaluate our own lives. Then, we realize how tired we really are (mentally and physically) and how much we are literally fighting to keep our eyes open to get through each day. Parents, it is okay to rest. Let me repeat; it is okay to rest.
Let the world stop. Let your mind stop. Breathe love and speak happiness into that beautiful child or children and into yourself. Take a nap when they do. You deserve it. You need it.
When we want to complain about the temporary illness facing our kids or family, remember it is temporary. There are incredibly brave and selfless parents dealing with chronically ill children or children fighting cancer every single day with no end in sight. My heart breaks as I try to even imagine what their life must be like day in and day out. Their world has permanently stopped. I don’t know how they face the day other than there is no other choice. By the grace of God, they continue to get out of bed every day not knowing what the illness will bring that day or the next. Strength like that is beyond admirable.
I face chronic illness every single day, but seeing my daughter sick for even a minute is heart wrenching. I’d always rather it be me than her. I can imagine other parents out there would take their child’s illness on themselves if they could in a heartbeat.
I offer prayers for every single one of you facing what seem to be insurmountable, unbelievably difficult circumstances with sick kids. I pray for smiles when you are fighting back your own tears. I pray for strength when you feel your child is stronger than you are.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to let it out. That doesn’t make you less strong. On the contrary, tears can help clear our fears and add immeasurable strength to our minds and hearts. I pray for peace in your heart as you question your circumstances and ask why us. I pray for faith beyond what you can see because God will see you through even the darkest of days.
You are a superhero. You are amazing. Believe me when I say your child feels that way about you too.
